have been more alive these days although nth has changed
life sucks
I was locked in the toilet today.
didnt really panick but felt really frustrated and helpless.
if everything happens for a reason, what would be the reason behind this small insignificant incident?
i think im really affected by coach's every word and action.
i would have given up very long ago if coach didnt talk to me
im still trying
but i really dont know what will happen in the end.
i really dont know. i hate this. =(
at this point, i sometimes hoped that i didnt shoot nationals last year
then there will be no expectations , i would never know my potential, n there will be no regrets now.
i hate myself =((((((((

i cant forget what coach said last year before nationals.
he told me to relax and next year would really be my turn to perform.
o right mans. look at whats happening to me now.
the biggest joke in history.zz